Tosyn Bucknor’s Ten 10s: Life is about Balance

The more I sit down under an apple tree… O wait, that was Isaac Newton. Okay fine. The longer I reflect while doing random things like not hurling the dictionary of swear words at people in traffic, the longer I realise that to survive, one needs balance. That balance between…

10. Getting angry and never losing it

People who can’t seem to lose their temper usually say, ‘I wish I could get angry so people would stop taking advantage of me’ . Since I know HOW to get angry a bit too well, I’m usually praying for the ability to let nothing get me angry. But it’s that balance that we truly need. If nothing ever makes you mad, then you probably would never react to a situation and change it, but if you have temper issues, even you would hate yourself

9. Knowing when to panic, and knowing when to be calm

Some people can’t sleep through the night, every sound wakes them up and causes them to panic. Others sleep so well that nothing short of being hit wakes them up. The key is the balance. Your ‘flight or fight’won’t kick in unless you somehow find that middle point between never panicking, and always seeing a storm in a tea cup.

8. Not caring at all or caring too much.

Neither is ideal. Let’s just say though, that the people who declare, ‘I don’t care what people think about me’ are the people who care the most. Moving on. We need to care enough to get things done, but not care so much as to stifle it. Balance.

7. Being selfish and being selfless

A friend once said every successful person has to be selfless and selfish. According to him, to excel, you have to help people and so your selflessness kicks in, but making decisions and sticking to them requires a certain level of selfishness because you can’t please everyone. Think about it…

6. Serving people and being served

Similar to 7 is number 6 here where one has to learn to put on different hats. Sometimes you are the one getting served, other times, you are the one doing the service. When I am on air, I’m serving the audience, when I go get a burger, I’m getting served. Learning the balance required for each is important!

5. Joy and Pain

Hey! Who wants pain? We want joy!joy!joy! Okay you get it. Ever heard of bipolar disorder? A very loose summary- when they are happy, they climb mountains. When they are sad, they want to slash their wrists. You can’t feel anything so much that it kills you, be it pleasure, be it pain. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re sad. Ride each wave.

4. Being stubborn, and taking advice

Ask ten people a question about your new haircut, the way you speak, or your personality and chances are, you will leave even more confused than you started. Human beings always have advice, sometimes, ‘just because‘. There has to be a balance between taking advice and stubbornly sticking to a plan. Everyone has to find their own yardstick, I use the ‘does it affect the price of fish in the market’ yardstick. I’kid I’kid I’jest

3. Being adventurous and being boring

Bungee jumping? Money in the pillowcase because banks can’t be trusted? Some play it too safe, some don’t know what safe means. They say the best entrepreneurs are the biggest risk takers. What they don’t tell you is some actually do lose it all; you usually hear the stories of those who won. Find the balance and watch life unfold

2. Scolding and Scarring

In this day and age where the concept of abuse has changed so much, I am sure a lot of parents are confused as to how to raise their kids.

What an American would call social service on his neighbour for is what a Nigerian neighbour would assist in. Is flogging abuse? I don’t know any longer. I do know we all got flogged in secondary school, and some of us at home as well, but now the movies tell me that was wrong. I should sue my teachers by the way.

The test must be the effect then. Don’t scar…

1. Peace and War

Some things you can change. For that, you need strength. Some things, you can’t change and must accept. For those, you need grace. Knowing the difference requires wisdom.

(Serenity Prayer)

In the end, life is about balance. If you do want to gain some perspective, I’d recommend you watch the crime channel. You are not as messed up as you think you are